Lapis: Hello, we’re conducting a survey on bread, would you like to take part?
Ayn (To Basel): What do I say?
Basel (To Ayn): Why are you asking me? Just hang up.
Ayn: Yes, I’d like to take part. I’m putting you on speaker, I’m with a friend.
Basel: I despise you.
Lapis: Alright, then let’s stop loafing around.
Ayn: That was a half-baked pun.
Beckett: She’s got you cornered.
Lapis: Shut up. Ma’am what is your opinion on Jesus Crust?
Basel: Oh I know this one, you led with the punchline. It’s Holy Bread, what do you call holy bread?
Beckett: Jesus Crust?
Ayn: I think they knew that joke.
Lapis: Shut up, shut up, I’m conducting the survey. For the next question-
Beckett: I think this is a code bread situation, we should hang up.
Lapis: That would be admitting defeat, never!
Basel: Oh, you two are prank callers?
Ayn: Well I’ll have you know you’ve just contacted the most dangerous mercenary group in the world, and we also happen to know a thing or two about bread.
Basel: My meatloaf was famous in Brazil before the Crisis.
Beckett: Meatloaf ain’t bread.
Basel: How dare you profane the name of my family’s venerated meatloaf recipe.
Lapis: Wait shut up about terrible foods, you said you guys were mercenaries?
Lapis: Write this number down, Beckett. The brass are gonna love this!
Ayn: Wait are you two Aegis?
Lapis: Hell yeah.
Ayn: You spineless morons, you just tracked us down, didn’t you?
Basel: My mother taught me how to make that meatloaf when I was a boy, it is real bread and real meat, you are nothing!
Lapis: Listen, I’m pretty gay, but even I know Beckett is hot stuff.
Ayn: Bet he’s not hotter than Basel.
Basel: I don’t even need an oven to cook my meatloaf, I breathe on it.
Beckett: I’m going to have to put in a health and safety violation for that.
Lapis: I bet you guys couldn’t even cook bread without the instructions on the box.
Ayn: Bold words coming from someone who can’t even deliver their bread puns right.
Lapis: You take that back, those are fighting words.
Beckett: Lapis, you have to let go.
Basel: You began the fight when you sullied my family’s name!
Lapis: NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU OR YOUR BREAD!
Kim: What the hell is going on? Ayn? Basel?
Ayn: We’re on the phone with the cops and they insulted Basel’s mom.
Kim: You guys Aegis?
Lapis: Yeah, and ready to kick your ass too!
Beta: Beckett, Lapis, are you two prank calling people again?
Lapis: We started it but they made it personal.
Beckett: They hurt Lapis’s feelings and I’m hurt by association.
Beta: Let me handle this. Listen, I’m so sorry about that, I’ll get these two in line. You guys have a great night.
Kim: No problem, see you in hell, copper.
Beta: Huh, those folks were kinda unpleasant. I hope you two have learned your lesson.
Beckett: That could’ve gone better.
Lapis: Yeah… Let’s do it again.